god (sic) Made Girls to Shutup and Look Pretty

You know, nine years of Catholic school and I never heard this before. I can promise you I would remember it if I had ever been taught this. Even as a kid it’s the kind of thing I would raise an eyebrow at.

Truthfully, I’ve only heard it very recently. Given that I’ve gone so long without knowing about it I feel confident that even among the “believe or go to hell” sect this group is a minority.

The idea that it is a woman’s duty to look pretty because not to do so is rejecting god’s gift.

Wow.

I mean, just, wow. What do you even say to something like that? Are you kidding me?

What kind of pretentious, stuck up, over-privileged prude could buy into something like that?

First of all, ouch to everyone who doesn’t fit the typical consensus of “attractive.” Guess god felt you didn’t deserve his gift.

But those of us with any semblance of decency and human respect know that there is no pure definition of beauty, so I guess from there the question is “Which standard of beauty are these women supposed to pursue?” Well, I have a good idea of what the people who actually buy this absurd notion picture: Nice dress, long, pretty hair, makeup on the face; the kind of woman you know stays at home and cooks a nice big meal for her husband every night. Stepford wives.

Yup. Man in a suit, woman in a dress., couches at weird angles 2 inches from the TV. That's the dream.

Yup. Man in a suit, woman in a dress, couches at weird angles 2 inches from the TV. This is how you relax.

I was always aware of the trope, but I never knew some people tied it to religion. What really gets me is that so far I have only heard this sentiment from women.

Man oh man, if I had heard it from guys I would at least know some of the motivation for clinging to this belief. Well, I’m sure the idea still came from men, because the kind of women who would embrace this notion clearly cannot think for themselves.

Just to be clear, I’m not criticizing women who take time to make themselves look nice. I’m criticizing the ones who do it because they believe it’s their “duty to god” and that any woman who doesn’t is a sinner.

Let’s get something else straight right now. I realize that because I’m a man whenever I go after things that keep women down I may look like a pandering, self-righteous jackass who champions myself a great friend to all womankind. I’ll be completely honest with you and say that my primary reasons for aligning with feminist values are completely selfish.

My last girlfriend, a feminist, once told me men resist feminism because it means giving up a life full of advantages, to which I responded, “How on Earth could any guy see it as at an advantage!?”

REALLY. Explain to me how living in a society where I’m expected to work and the woman stays home is considered the better position. Explain how constantly shoving half naked women into every piece of media because it’s believed my gender can only enjoy things when they’re drooling with a hard-on makes me the more respected sex. Explain how living with a meek woman who never challenges me and does what I say because it’s her duty to be mindful of her husband is any fun. (I might only think that last one because I only have fun in relationships where we argue three-fourths of the time because I’m Italian).

I would never be with a woman whose highest aspiration in life was to raise kids. That’s basically her way of saying “I want you to work all day while I contribute nothing and pop out more mouths to feed.” Before anyone goes off, I’m not disparaging stay at home parents. My mom was a stay at home mom, and raising kids is a legitimate fulltime job. My problem is with the idea that it should be a woman’s sole purpose in life.

Guess what? Kids grow up. The “I can’t work because I need to look after the kids” excuse only works for about fourteen years (resetting with each new kid). After the kids are gone that poor woman is going to look at her life and say “Well, what now?” My mother went through quite a struggle when my sister and I left. Maintaining a household for two adults is not a fulltime job.

I honestly do not understand how any guy would be upset with their partner having a job. Are you so in love with the idea of being the breadwinner that you’ll cut your income in half? Are you so insecure in your masculinity that the only way to affirm it is to have someone in your life that depends on you?

Jeepers! A woman working and doubling the income our household so that we can live in nicer places and secure a financially stable future! My dick is shriveling at the mere thought of it! Which I guess is why I’m using words like “jeepers.”

Having a woman cook for you also sucks. One of the best parts of getting my own place was that I got to decide what I’d eat every night. Steak, hamburgers, chicken, porkchops, pasta—all made exactly the way I want it. Never have to eat someone else’s food and pretend I’m enjoying it. Never any anxiety about what will be for dinner; I know exactly what I’ll eat and get to look forward to it all day.

Getting priority for a job over a woman—that’s the pits. It’s not really an accomplishment if the deciding factor was the dick between my legs. I’m a strong proponent of earning what you get. I’d never take satisfaction in something I got through privilege.

You should be getting the picture now. I openly admit my feminist values are selfish because they best fit the lifestyle I enjoy. That’s not to say I don’t also support equality, fairness, and human rights. Of course I believe in those, and you can trust me when I say that because you know it’s not about trying to get on anyone’s good side. There are several greedy underlying reasons.

Back to the topic at hand, the idea that god made girls pretty is just… so stupid. You know we used to be cavemen, right? Technically, if you want to be pretty the way “god intended” you’ll need to devolve into a Neanderthal with a slouched back and shit ton of hair on your body. Maybe that rationale doesn’t work for you because it involved evolution.

So god gets mad every time a woman doesn’t spend twenty fucking minutes in front of a mirror making sure she’s pretty because that’s rejecting his gift? Yeesh. Ever get a Christmas present with a card that read “Use it, or else.”?

For the sake of fairness I strained my brain to think of some way I could, to some extent, relate to this “moral.”

For a little over a year I lived with a girlfriend. Every day she got home from school she looked nice, but then she’d run up stairs and immediately dress in PJ’s. I saw her look nice for a few seconds per day. The rest of our time together she was dressed way down. It got to me after a while. I’m only human; obviously it was harder to be attracted to her when she looked like that, granted a myriad of other issues probably contributed to that. Some days I would ask her if she would stay dressed just this once, to which she always responded “No, it’s too uncomfortable.”

Mind you, I wasn’t asking her to get dressed up. All I wanted was for her to have enough clothes on so that if we wanted to get a quick lunch or something she wouldn’t need to change. Jeans and a T-shirt, that’s all I asked for. Is that really so uncomfortable? Don’t bother responding, the answer is no. I should know, it’s what I wear almost every day.

So, jeans and a T-shirt. That’s the extent to which I feel a person has a “duty” to dress up, but you know what? Even that’s just personal preference. People can do whatever they want in their own household. Who cares?

That’s the secret to world peace, by the way. Stop caring about how other people live. Is that so hard? Of course it isn’t. It’s literally the route that takes no effort.

For other explanations as to why god made girls, make sure you listen to “god made girls.” If you ever wondered exactly what god intended when he pulled that rib out of Adam, this has all the answers you’re looking for.


Quick notice. There’s been a dip in post frequency lately and will continue to be for a little while. I’m working part time and hitting the search for a real job very hard so I don’t have a lot of free time.

Plus Smash Bros just came out and I want to spend the few hours I have to myself screaming obscenities at my 3DS when anybody online uses Little Mac.

If you're getting relentlessly comboed by a Ness online there's a good chance you're fighting me.

If you’re getting relentlessly comboed by a Ness online there’s a good chance you’re fighting me.

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